What do you do when what you want, what you desire, slips through your fingers. How do you stop it from going, should you even stop it?
Many times, I hear the phrase if you truly love something let it go, if it comes back to you, it was meant to be. How much of this is actual rubbish. Its unbelievable how many people have advise on how you should live your life. Even more unbelievable is how similar everyone advise is. Possibly because we have all been to the same schools, read the same books, been exposed to the same ideas, that our thoughts are basically the same, but how do it tell them they are wrong!!
No i am not single because i want to be, no I do not like being by myself, yes I crave intimacy. No I will not date that guy just because he thinks I'm hot. Its not enough damn it. Do I have no say in what my feelings are to this other person? Is it not a contradiction that a guy loves and pursues, but a girl receives and accepts? Should there not be a parameter through which I decide, Is that really asking too much? Goodness me, i didn't think it was that complicated. My good friend told me that for a relationship to happen, there must be a double coincidence of wants... I loved that, Its not just about one side wanting the other side, you must both want each other......
Where is the rule that says single people should accept every invitation that comes their way, is single synonymous with desperate?? Its absolutely ridiculous and a complete travesty to the idea of companionship.
I have vowed that I shall not be alone in a relationship, I think there is nothing sadder than that, that i love him and he likes me, no way, that is not why relationships were created. For me, its all about companionship, do we feed off each other, around him do i grow, around me does he grow, do we add value to each others lives....
NKT sometimes these questions just piss me of cause i feel that somewhere up there God is laughing his arse off saying he gave us the perfect plan and we had to go and complicate stuff by getting equality. The fact that I am educated means i know better and i think that is my moby dick, the ever consuming desire that shall never be quenched. Oh I shall never say never but continue to hope and pray (despite the comedian up there) that I am not mad, that I have the right idea about my life, that I know what I'm doing.
Get a little painted
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Friday, October 28, 2011
The introduction to any story determines how the story will go. With the wrong introduction , you lose your opportunity to engage the public's attention and therefore want them wanting more.
It was a cold night, it was a full moon, in a galaxy far far away, once upon a time, each introduction sets the tone, the mood, the direction to which the story will flow. Maybelle is dead, the bastard is gone, the end begins, all these great introductions tell me the reader how the writer wants me to interpret their work.
After the great introduction, comes a catch phrase that keeps the reader entertained especially after a couple of chapters; were not in Kansas anymore, asta lavista baby, frankly my dear, i don't give a damn, the list is endless (i recognise that the quotes are from movies, but are these not stories as well?)
Then the end, oh, does it leave you wanting more, do you get satisfied that all your hard work (read as perseverance to reach the end of the book) has been rewarded. There is nothing worse than getting to the end of the book and its rubbish. A great ending leaves a lasting impression, 300, everyone died but what a fight, James Patterson Alex Cross novels, by the time he goes home to his family, you are exhausted with him, fairy tales, good always triumphed over evil. Yes the end and the beginning and the middle keep a story alive
Get a little painted
It was a cold night, it was a full moon, in a galaxy far far away, once upon a time, each introduction sets the tone, the mood, the direction to which the story will flow. Maybelle is dead, the bastard is gone, the end begins, all these great introductions tell me the reader how the writer wants me to interpret their work.
After the great introduction, comes a catch phrase that keeps the reader entertained especially after a couple of chapters; were not in Kansas anymore, asta lavista baby, frankly my dear, i don't give a damn, the list is endless (i recognise that the quotes are from movies, but are these not stories as well?)
Then the end, oh, does it leave you wanting more, do you get satisfied that all your hard work (read as perseverance to reach the end of the book) has been rewarded. There is nothing worse than getting to the end of the book and its rubbish. A great ending leaves a lasting impression, 300, everyone died but what a fight, James Patterson Alex Cross novels, by the time he goes home to his family, you are exhausted with him, fairy tales, good always triumphed over evil. Yes the end and the beginning and the middle keep a story alive
Get a little painted
Thursday, September 8, 2011
So many thoughts, so many thoughts, but which one prevails for the moment...
Libya - If the rebellion is genuine and supported by the people, the good for them, if however its a western induced revolt where a rebel movement is supported by a super power, then i say that they are in serious problems. To the Libyans, good luck, I hope you understand what has happened, and what the consequences will be
Somalia- To what degree are you responsible for your neighbours sorrows when they have all the same human resources as you, they just choose not to use them, or use them in a way that does not benefit their household... Kenya has been saddled by the consequences of the war, hundreds of thousands of genuinely starving persons 9read women and children) looking to get out of the way of both a man made and natural disaster. Kenya shares a border with Somalia which means that any physical disasters experienced in that country will also be experienced in her. So how do you support another when you can barely support your own.
The question is simple, the answer is complex. humanity must always ensure that they look out for one another as failure to do so leads to disgruntled population which then gives way to war. All it needs is for a spirited individual to come and take advantage of the disconnect, identify an oppressor and bam, Nazi Germany gets re-created. But if we are so busy looking over our shoulder, we might get hit from the side. .....
Get a little painted
Libya - If the rebellion is genuine and supported by the people, the good for them, if however its a western induced revolt where a rebel movement is supported by a super power, then i say that they are in serious problems. To the Libyans, good luck, I hope you understand what has happened, and what the consequences will be
Somalia- To what degree are you responsible for your neighbours sorrows when they have all the same human resources as you, they just choose not to use them, or use them in a way that does not benefit their household... Kenya has been saddled by the consequences of the war, hundreds of thousands of genuinely starving persons 9read women and children) looking to get out of the way of both a man made and natural disaster. Kenya shares a border with Somalia which means that any physical disasters experienced in that country will also be experienced in her. So how do you support another when you can barely support your own.
The question is simple, the answer is complex. humanity must always ensure that they look out for one another as failure to do so leads to disgruntled population which then gives way to war. All it needs is for a spirited individual to come and take advantage of the disconnect, identify an oppressor and bam, Nazi Germany gets re-created. But if we are so busy looking over our shoulder, we might get hit from the side. .....
Get a little painted
Monday, May 2, 2011
Blood red
Fathers.
For those who have them, treasure them for those that are good are very good. For those who don't have them, i am sad for you, for you truly are missing out on a balance of your world view. For those who are abused by them, whether physically or emotionally, i weep for you, for that is the greatest betrayal, greatest evil to be administered against someone.
Fathers, you are supposed to love us, to protect us, to care for us. You are the head of the home, you are the stability and comfort in our lives. When you leave intentionally or otherwise, you leave us unloved, un cared for but most importantly you take away from us that comfort, that safety net of peace that God our father in heaven has given you. This is your superpower. As with all of the Almighty's gifts they cannot be taken away, they can however be mis-used and abused.
Fathers, what has happened to you? When did it all go wrong? Why do you not seem to know who you are and what your purpose in your children's lives are? who has lied to you and told you that you have no purpose, that you are worthless, that your child does not need you in their life?
Oh how the wounded child wails in the dark, they are not able to see an end to this darkness. Fathers have been given the light but they hide them under the bed. Even worse, they run away with the light and they don't teach their sons that either there is a light or, how to light it and get rid of the dark. Fathers, your children are growing up in the dark. They live a life where they don't know what the light is.
Men, you will, most of you, be fathers one day. Many of you are currently suffering from your father wounds, you don't know any better. I understand that, but please men, please know that you are great, you are powerful, you are able to love without malice, to be strong without violence, to be steady when the wind blows, to be a compass in the chaos that is humanity, but most importantly to show us the light in the darkness through your love. How do I know all this? Because Jesus Christ was a man who knew all these things, he loved, he led and he died for what he believed in. You have been given all the tools by God, you just need to know it deep in your heart. Where you were not taught, i say its already in you, just ask the good Lord for direction and all will be revealed. I am a woman and because of that I cannot teach you how to be a man, I can only say that as one experiencing the way you are living your life I stand and say that something must change with how you are living your lives. We women are mothers to your sons, please learn so that you can teach teach them how to be true men.
Fathers
Get a little painted
For those who have them, treasure them for those that are good are very good. For those who don't have them, i am sad for you, for you truly are missing out on a balance of your world view. For those who are abused by them, whether physically or emotionally, i weep for you, for that is the greatest betrayal, greatest evil to be administered against someone.
Fathers, you are supposed to love us, to protect us, to care for us. You are the head of the home, you are the stability and comfort in our lives. When you leave intentionally or otherwise, you leave us unloved, un cared for but most importantly you take away from us that comfort, that safety net of peace that God our father in heaven has given you. This is your superpower. As with all of the Almighty's gifts they cannot be taken away, they can however be mis-used and abused.
Fathers, what has happened to you? When did it all go wrong? Why do you not seem to know who you are and what your purpose in your children's lives are? who has lied to you and told you that you have no purpose, that you are worthless, that your child does not need you in their life?
Oh how the wounded child wails in the dark, they are not able to see an end to this darkness. Fathers have been given the light but they hide them under the bed. Even worse, they run away with the light and they don't teach their sons that either there is a light or, how to light it and get rid of the dark. Fathers, your children are growing up in the dark. They live a life where they don't know what the light is.
Men, you will, most of you, be fathers one day. Many of you are currently suffering from your father wounds, you don't know any better. I understand that, but please men, please know that you are great, you are powerful, you are able to love without malice, to be strong without violence, to be steady when the wind blows, to be a compass in the chaos that is humanity, but most importantly to show us the light in the darkness through your love. How do I know all this? Because Jesus Christ was a man who knew all these things, he loved, he led and he died for what he believed in. You have been given all the tools by God, you just need to know it deep in your heart. Where you were not taught, i say its already in you, just ask the good Lord for direction and all will be revealed. I am a woman and because of that I cannot teach you how to be a man, I can only say that as one experiencing the way you are living your life I stand and say that something must change with how you are living your lives. We women are mothers to your sons, please learn so that you can teach teach them how to be true men.
Fathers
Get a little painted
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Red white and blue
Bullies, that is the reigning theme in my mind right now. My definition of a bully is one who uses superior intellect, strength or position to manipulate another. The superiority is of course perceived as the saying the bigger they are the harder they fall demonstrates.
All the same, from the moment that one recognizes that they are in a position of influence they then have the responsibility to ensure that those they influence are in no way harmed. If you choose to be the policeperson for the entire world then you must take the role and apply the law equally among all of the worlds citizens. To however pick and choose where you police is an abuse of your power and in essence you lose the right to administrate the law.
This is not a world belonging to one person, once state, one nation, the world belongs to us all and we must co exist. "With great power comes great responsibility" when this responsibility is abused you then become a bully.
This then in my mind creates a space in the consiousness for rebellion. Rebellion occurs when people say no more. I admit that for as long as those with power continue to defend their posistion and actions with aggressions, there are those that will not have the guts to attack, and those that do, will not attack directly but through underhanded attacks that normally leave many innocent persons hurt. In my mind the bullies are therfore actually responsible for the deaths of those who are caught in the line of fire. They may react angrily by directly going for those they feel have undermined their authority, but this then just feeds a negative cycle of attacks and counter attacks. when will it end?
The possible fall of the bully? possibly not, but the unity of the nations, possibly yes. as crazy as this sounds, if we all came together against the tyranny of the bully, against the double standards netted against the nations, against direct attacks by those within the bullies direct control, we may just have a chance to get away.
What is my message after all this? I guess to say the the world is not red, white and blue, and that i protest against those that are trying to paint it so. we shall not conform to the will of the bully, to be slaves of the modern world. That the pursuit of freedom from tyranny is a call we must all hear.
Get a little painted
All the same, from the moment that one recognizes that they are in a position of influence they then have the responsibility to ensure that those they influence are in no way harmed. If you choose to be the policeperson for the entire world then you must take the role and apply the law equally among all of the worlds citizens. To however pick and choose where you police is an abuse of your power and in essence you lose the right to administrate the law.
This is not a world belonging to one person, once state, one nation, the world belongs to us all and we must co exist. "With great power comes great responsibility" when this responsibility is abused you then become a bully.
This then in my mind creates a space in the consiousness for rebellion. Rebellion occurs when people say no more. I admit that for as long as those with power continue to defend their posistion and actions with aggressions, there are those that will not have the guts to attack, and those that do, will not attack directly but through underhanded attacks that normally leave many innocent persons hurt. In my mind the bullies are therfore actually responsible for the deaths of those who are caught in the line of fire. They may react angrily by directly going for those they feel have undermined their authority, but this then just feeds a negative cycle of attacks and counter attacks. when will it end?
The possible fall of the bully? possibly not, but the unity of the nations, possibly yes. as crazy as this sounds, if we all came together against the tyranny of the bully, against the double standards netted against the nations, against direct attacks by those within the bullies direct control, we may just have a chance to get away.
What is my message after all this? I guess to say the the world is not red, white and blue, and that i protest against those that are trying to paint it so. we shall not conform to the will of the bully, to be slaves of the modern world. That the pursuit of freedom from tyranny is a call we must all hear.
Get a little painted
Saturday, January 8, 2011
The confusion of me
I see her looking back at me, she winks, i wink, she laughs, I laugh, but lately all she does is cry, because i cry. I want to forgive, but what you did, you slayed my soul. I told you my secret, my hair was my strength, you came at night and cut it, you took my strength and Laughed at me, you see me crawl and feel delight? No, you cannot be so cruel, for if you are then i was so wrong. Could I have been so wrong? Could my judgement be so skewed?? So I did the ultimate wrong in telling you my weakness, I trusted you, and I now have got my reward.
I don't look so bad in short hair. I tell myself that I will survive, that I have been here before and it grew back, but its the time between that's so rough. I just don't understand, why did you do it? Is it me? I guess it must be cause this keeps happening to me. I follow the script, but you don't seem to be reading from the same page leave alone the same book. Why did I not check the title? Its a stupid thing hindsight, I hate it cause it just seems to reveal my stupidity, my ignorance in my so called experienced life.
I guess what i felt was denial, and now its absolute sadness, cant wait for the anger then I'm over it.
Get a little painted
I don't look so bad in short hair. I tell myself that I will survive, that I have been here before and it grew back, but its the time between that's so rough. I just don't understand, why did you do it? Is it me? I guess it must be cause this keeps happening to me. I follow the script, but you don't seem to be reading from the same page leave alone the same book. Why did I not check the title? Its a stupid thing hindsight, I hate it cause it just seems to reveal my stupidity, my ignorance in my so called experienced life.
I guess what i felt was denial, and now its absolute sadness, cant wait for the anger then I'm over it.
Get a little painted
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